Everything now, Some things then, Often times when

Voodoo Cabbage

2009-02-08T19:59:00.000-08:00

I have hated you,
Since the dawn,
And I won’t rest,
Until you’re gone.

Slimy and vile,
Unnatural and shrill,
Too small in size,
For so much chlorophyll.

Smelling you cook,
Makes my stomach turn,
Brought to a boil,
I wish you’d burn.

Mere thought of you,
Causes a reflex gag,
Cooking there,
In your little bag.

How could I eat,
Something like you,
A head of cabbage,
Shrunken by voodoo.

I might put a lid on,
Never let you out,
Shrivel up and die,
Tiny brussels sprout.

Casino Century Club

2009-01-27T23:26:00.000-08:00

My butt sinks into the foot-thick foam padding, I put my money into the machine, peruse the pay table, locate the inviting “max bet” button, one push and....Oh so close, I was a half cherry away from that mythical “progressive”. Maybe, just maybe it was just one push away, of course I will never know until I push it again.....and again.....and again. Wait a minute though, everyone else seems to be winning around me, another siren, riches are surely just minutes away. Alright, I know I said only 20 bucks, but come on, I’ve sunk this much into this machine, and it has to pay out soon, right....RIGHT?
For all those who have had a similar experience, the following experiment is for you. After a particularly unlucky trip to the local casino, I decided I had to rethink my gambling strategies. Is sinking money into one machine better than playing lots of different ones? Lord knows I’ve tried both, with mixed results. After a restless sleep and many casino tainted dreams, I woke up the next morning knowing exactly what I had to do.
My plan is to take a crisp $100 and play exactly 100 different machines. No matter what happens, I would not spend more than $1 at any machine. This goes against every bit of gambling logic I’ve heard through the years. It will absolutely be the least “green” thing I’ve done in some time (100 machines means 100 little pieces of paper) Some friends found the idea inspired, some thought it ridiculous, I’ll let you, the reader, be the judge:

#1 (7:45ish) Hot Red Ruby: A $100 bill goes in, a slip of paper with $99.00 written on it comes out, not the start I had hoped for, but comforting to know I have 99 more machines to go
#8 Five Times Gold: True to its name, I spent $1 and won exactly $4! My first win of the night feels amazing, I leave this machine feeling like I can do anything, maybe even win millions, I am the most delusional loser of three dollars in history.
#12 777 Blazing: Time to take a break, I’m still feeling a little light headed from machine #8, or is it the fact I have sat down and gotten back up a total of 12 times in the last 20 minutes, either way, time for a beer. ($92)
#18 Frog Princess: I’ve just spent $1 and received 30 cents in return. Did I just lose 70 cents? I chose not to look at it that way, I have won 30 cents and you can’t convince me otherwise.
#21 Total Meltdown: The wins are starting to pile up ($1.50). Someone around me just won big. Slots are like the guy next to you ordering fajitas, and I am drawn to them. I want to go to there.
#25 (8:45) Beer, Bait & Ammo: Couldn’t have thought of a better machine to lose too going into the break. After 25 machines, I’m at a cool $82.60. I’ve thought I was one push away about 22 times thus far; this is harder that it may seem.
#39 Cool Catz: I ran into a friend during the first quarter break and he recommended this machine. Thank you Will, first double digit win of the night $10.20. I can do anything; I might levitate to the next machine, if it pleases me.
# 45 Jackpot Express: winner, winner, chicken dinner ($2.00)
#50 Diamond Fever: Halftime is here and I’m at $80!! Some said I would only leave with $20-$30 after the whole evening! I ran into a weird batch of machines (they keep spitting out these tickets that can’t be used, only cashed), I'm having to back and forth to the cashier. After telling one particularly impressed cashier about my brilliant plan, he asks, “Why? What are you trying to figure out?” Indeed, I have stumbled upon their secret. They are scared.
#61 Mr. Money Bags: I have finally run out of new machines, this is the first repeat title, but it also coincides with a $4.00 windfall. I should have tried this earlier.
#75 (11:20) Star Spangled Sevens: the end of the third quarter and I am getting tired. Not coincidently I’ve dwindled down to $67. It has already taken more time then expected, I need something good to happen and quick!
#76 Hot Red Ruby: JACKPOT! A $44 dollar win and I am reborn! The pit boss will surely be here soon, I think about employing a body guard. I see assassins around every machine, I’m being watched.
#94 Gold Standard: a win! I have reached the edge of the desert; finally, my thirst is quenched! ($.50)
#100 Wheel of Fortune (11:45): The end has come. After playing exactly 100 machines I have won exactly $88.91. I firmly believe that I am the smartest man in the world. I cannot stop grinning. This is the best I’ve ever felt leaving the casino.

So what do you think? After 4 hours and $11.09 spent; I’m left with more questions than answers. I know for a fact that it is REALLY hard to leave a machine after one pull. I know for a fact that my date was bored out of her mind (I cannot thank her enough for the brilliant note-taking and encouragement, thank you Cyndi!). But do I know whether it is better to play a lot of different machines or just one? I think that question will have to remain unanswered.........FOR NOW!

New Year’s Res(v)olution

2008-12-31T12:18:00.000-08:00

I’ve been reading a book the past couple of weeks entitled A Year of Living Biblically by A.J. Jacobs. In the book, a 30ish white guy from New York attempts to live a whole year by every strict rule found in the Bible. While not meant to be secular or religious, it is a fairly enlightening journey into both the Bible’s beautiful and/or insane declarations. One of the commandments Jacobs finds the most difficult to obey is the one against coveting:

Deuteronomy 5:21:
Neither shall you covet your neighbor’s wife. Neither shall you desire your neighbor’s house, or field, or male or female slave, or ox, or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.

Interestingly enough, while reading this book I started to look at the things I covet and how much pain disobeying this commandment has caused me. I believe my whole life (well, maybe not so much through years 0-5) I have had a severe problem with coveting. I definitely believe my adult life has been one gigantic coveting party. I want everything anyone else has; and have an inability to appreciate anything about my own life. I am jealous of how much money you make, how hot your girlfriend/wife is, how much you can drink, how many slaves you have, your ox and your donkey. I believe that perhaps if I can stop the bleeding from my giant coveting aorta, then maybe I can live a happy and contented life.

I therefore have made a New Year’s Resolution to control my coveting. I would say to eliminate it, but failing at that sort of cold turkey approach would only make me jealous of people that actually can quit like that. Therefore I resolve:

To be free of the consumerist wantonness that leads to me getting into debt,

To be free of desiring all sorts of single or taken women,

To be free of wanting my cake and eating it too,

To finally be free of all types of jealous and general coveting activities.

In the past few days I have tried to cut down on my coveting and I have to say that although it is hard, it really isn’t quite as difficult as I though it would be. Of course it has only been a few days, but there is something about denying your urges that gives you a sort of moral high. We will see how this goes, but hey, doesn’t hurt to try right? I’m not even jealous that someone else tried this before me and wrote a book about it, not even a little bit...ish. See, it's working all ready! HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

A Prayer for the Lost

2008-12-05T17:51:00.001-08:00

Grant me Your peace O Lord, for without Your love, I am forever at war.

2008-11-13T18:45:00.001-08:00

Nugget King Family Palace

I see you there,
Making my mouth wet,
Waiting in the buffet,
Fried corn nugget.

How far you’ve come,
Since your pilgrim feast,
Now dipped in oil by,
People from the east.

Savory creamed corn,
Wrapped in pure heaven,
Frozen for solidarity,
Cooked to perfection.

I slide past the rice,
Ignore the orange glaze,
Only to fill my plate,
With gold-breaded maize.

No need for soy,
Or mysterious MSG,
Nothing but corn,
To make me happy.

The dinner buffet price,
Seems sort of low,
When my pockets are filled,
With nuggets to go!

An open letter

2008-10-13T21:17:00.001-07:00

Dear George,

I was trying to hold off writing this letter until the anniversary of your death, but I feel it can wait no longer. For the first time since you got sick, I cried tonight. I have been nothing but numb since those days a little over a year ago. I feel nothing but guilt over it. I should have shown you in those final days how much I cared for you and how much you meant to my life. For some reason I couldn’t, I don’t know why, I have no excuse.

Since then I have been unable to conjure up any kind of emotion for anything. I feel like I have been incapable of loving anyone, including myself. I am completely eaten up with guilt for being such a bad son to you. I know a lot of people (including you) would take this opportunity to disagree with me. I know in my heart that it is true. I know in my heart that I never gave near enough back to you for everything you did for me. I know in my heart that I continue to not give enough back to my mother, your beautiful wife.

I was supposed to be there that night; I was supposed to come the measly mile to see you in the hospital. Regardless of the fact that you were coming home the next night. You were in the hospital and I should have been there, there is no good enough reason in the world for me not being there. I know there is no way for me to know that I would never see you again, but I knew damn well that the days were drawing near. You would have never gone a day without seeing me if the situation was reversed.

I don’t know why I’m such an asshole. You did not raise me that way. You are the man that five days before you died, text messaged me to say happy birthday. I would give anything for those last days back. I know you are in a much better place now and I would say that I will see you again, but if heaven is a place for people like you, then I’m not sure I have any business there.

For a man that never wanted children, you became the best father any child could have asked for. You were a truly amazing man. I’m sorry I was not there for you when you needed an amazing son, you deserved it. My niece and two nephews are so lucky that they had an amazing grandfather. If I someday have children, I promise that they will know their grandfather too, if only in words and pictures. I can only hope to be half the father you were, with twice the son you had.

I love you George, I can’t now remember if I ever told you that. Yet another of my failures in an embarrassingly long line of them. Please forgive me, maybe if I can believe that you have, I can find some peace. Please thank God for me, he finally allowed me to cry tonight.

Your loving son,

Chris

Down here at the Pawn Shop....

2008-10-04T18:23:00.000-07:00

Some people have called me an "English snob"; I don't believe I agree with them. I think that when amongst friends and family, strict language rules can be relaxed. I do believe however, that using correct English is the key to effective communication in our society.

While working at the pawn shop today, a man asked me "Ya'll ain't got no fifteens?". I immediately started analyzing what he was attempting to say. My question to you is this, exactly how many grammatical errors are in that one sentence? I counted at least four:

1) "ain't" - common slang for common idiots. Sometimes when people say this I like to ask them "Exactly what two words are you trying to contract?". This inevitably leads to a frustrated look and under-the-breath insults, which is alright with me. If I could hear what they had said, I would probably have more terrible English to translate, this sort of thing could snowball out of control.

2) "got" - is he asking me where I "got" something or whether I "have" something? My best guess is that he has no idea what he is asking for, he is just pretty sure I don't have it...er.... "got" it.

3) "no" - another common mistake for common idiots. The word he is looking for is "any", although I suppose his crusade to find "dope" stereo equipment has left him too fatigued for such an exhaustive search for the correct words to use.

4) "ain't + no" - used in conjunction, I believe they form a double negative. That would mean he actually thinks I do have the item he seeks. Now this is the one I'm confused about, because since "ain't" is not a word, then I guess I am just assuming that it is the first negative. You know what they say about assumptions....

Now some might say a fifth error exists. "Ya'll" is very ugly English no matter what, but I believe that if it is actually spelled "y'all" then it is a valid contraction. Since I could not "see" the words he was using and how he would spell them, he gets a pass.

I love my job(s)!

Prologue: At the moment he asked me the question above, I had 6 shotguns and 2 rifles to my left, 6 semi-automatic pistols to my right, I'm just saying....

Meeting was held, Here are the minutes:

2008-09-21T05:14:00.001-07:00

I do this for a living, so it seemed appropriate:

I have called this meeting in order to discuss Chris’ self-diagnosis of a significant dating disability, to review previous interventions and to hopefully construct an IDP (Individual Dating Plan) that will help him to be successful.

First, let’s review his previous attempts at relationships:

Girlfriend/Wife #1 (Duration 8.0 years) - Started with a bang, ended with one too, both parties were way too young to understand what it takes to be in a healthy, successful relationship. It was really over when they decided to take this train wreck to the next station and got married. This mercifully ended it in short order. Pros: Love, Sex; Cons: Fighting, Immaturity. Overall Grade: F (Divorces receive automatic F’s)

Girlfriend #2 (Duration 1.5 years) – This was the inevitable rebound relationship, the exact opposite of Girlfriend #1. In a different situation, they could have ended up being great friends. The two didn’t have a lot in common, other then not wanting to end up alone, which by that prophesized the relationship’s long anticipated demise. Pros: Civility, Gap-filler; Cons: love-less, apathy. Overall Grade: D+

Girlfriend #3 (Duration 1.5 years) – After being in such a “mature” and boring relationship, Chris went right out and did what most do, found a young, blonde sorority girl. They were hot and heavy for a time; eventually the age and experience gap exposed the obvious differences and ended the experiment. It should be noted here that the two do remain close friends. Pros: Fun, Sex; Cons: Age, Experience. Overall Grade: C

Girlfriend #4 (Duration .75 years) - Wanting a more solid “adult” relationship, Chris found a very mature and sweet young woman and wooed her. I think it would have helped if Chris was mature and/or sweet himself. Obviously scared that this could be Wife #2, Chris panicked and broke both hearts. Pros: Love, Intimacy; Cons: Timing, Family. Overall Grade: F

Girlfriend #5 (Duration 2.ish years) - Out of the ashes, Chris found comfort with a fellow wounded soul and spent the first year trying not to love her. Shortly after giving in to the impulse, Chris’ father died and left him an emotional mute. This does not work in relationships, and thus, it ended. Pros: Comfort, Sex; Cons: Background, Death. Overall Grade: D-

Information about Chris that must also be considered at this time:

Advantages: Hard-working, good with kids, polite, clean, mild intelligence, not disfigured.

Disadvantages: Selfish, immature, arrogant, problem-avoidance, lust.

After reviewing this data, it can only be surmised that Chris presents with a moderate/severe dating disability. It is our determination that Chris is to be put on an Individual Dating Plan (IDP). He is to be given goals and objectives, whose rate of progress will be monitored by IDP team on a quarterly basis. The team will reconvene at a later date to discuss and formulate these goals and to review any new data which may be relevant.

Meeting adjourned.

The Diner in Norman

2008-09-19T17:26:00.000-07:00

I wake up,
From the deep,
Realize its Sunday
And almost weep.

We’ve been apart,
Mid-fortnight,
Its been too long,
Without a bite.

The line was long,
But I didn’t complain,
Even if it was,
Half-block down Main.

Huevos Rancheros,
Not for me,
Just give me the usual,
And let me be.

Chicken fried chicken,
Scrambled cheese egg,
Hot sauce and home fries,
Don’t make me beg.

Of course I want,
Biscuits and gravy,
Not the grits,
That’s just crazy.

The Sooners played great,
Last night was fun,
Refill the coffee,
And I’m done.

It’s time to leave,
Move the car seat back,
I know that dinner,
Will only be a snack.

An Ode to Memphis BBQ

2008-09-19T16:18:00.000-07:00

Of them all,
You are rare,
Memphis Bar-B-Q
Let me share.

The best there is,
I am told,
Your flavors sweet,
And your spices bold.

When I eat you,
I do believe,
My mouth is on fire,
But my hunger relieved.

Falling off ribs,
Grilled on wings,
Poured on spaghetti,
Flavor coating my dreams.

Ranch is jealous,
Mustards a plant
Ketchup will try,
But it simply can't.

Make meat taste,
As good as you,
Thank you God,
For Memphis Bar-B-Q.

Nerds are.....er....Sexy?

2008-09-19T16:16:00.000-07:00

Do you love nerds? If so, this guy is your cupid. Eef Barzelay, former Clem Snide front man has succeeded where only the boys of Lambda Lambda Lambda dared to tread, making nerds look sexy. On his sophomore release "Lose Big", Mr. Barzelay doesn't necessarily break new ground, but what he does is he rocks a little, rolls a little and writes one hell of a song. Eef dons his hollow-bodied Gibson and hits each rusty cord with a stomp, bedroom music this may be, but his soulful lyrics and blues sound make this album perfect for any small gathering of humans. The first absolute classic is the second track "Girls Don't Care", where Eef sings in defense of all those girls in love with a douche "girls don't care/that you yearn to be free/girl's just want/a sweet melody". So true Eef, so true, how does a nerd get the female condition so right? Eef touches on the mystery of death with "Making another tree" crooning "bless me Lord/I'm only after/what you promised me". Damn this guy gets it, must be all that readin' and writin' while everyone else partied, damn I should have read more...NERDS! With plenty of good stuff in between these gems and a solo version of his own Clem Snide hit "I love the Unknown", this is one of those rare albums that isn't the next big thing, but is damn good from start to finish. Go ahead and put this album in for a spin or two, then tell all your friends how much you love the new Eef Barzelay, then watch all their eyes roll. It's ok, that is what indie music is all about, you know better then they do, you always have, nerd.

A Poem by a child with Autism, written by his teacher.

2008-09-19T16:14:00.000-07:00

If You Only Knew

I am a boy,
Just like him,
Maybe not the same,
But certainly not dim.

Our views, different,
On many things,
Such as life,
And the joy it brings.

Facts and figures,
They come to me,
Out of dense fog,
With perfect clarity.

Numbers, they dance,
Around my brain,
I trust the sum,
It remains the same.

But his face is strange,
And his expression queer,
That silver tongue,
Is causing me fear.

Why doesn't he say,
The things he means,
Instead of these lies,
Disguised as pleasantries.

I'm not doing well,
The weather's not fine,
You wouldn't be rich,
If you'd have a dime.

You are called normal,
And I'm called lame?
Ask a million people,
They'd say the same.

Excuse my scream,
It's just you,
Contradictions hurt,
If you only knew.

Why I want to be a teacher

2008-09-19T16:12:00.000-07:00

When thinking of how to explain why I want to be a teacher, I find it hard to not come across as cliché. I think we all become teachers for two main reasons, to help people and make a difference. I want to teach because I not only want to improve the education and lives of my students, but by in turn, have my education and life improved by them. Teaching is a reciprocal art, the more you give, the more you get in return.
One of the most important things a child can learn from a teacher is kindness. Children of all economic backgrounds can suffer from not enough kindness in their lives; whether their parents work too much, do not value them as individuals, or simply do not care the way a parent should. These children come to school looking for someone who will show them caring and respect. That is the most important thing a teacher can ever do, be a source of kindness. I firmly believe that making a child feel loved and safe is paramount to all learning objectives. Only in that kind of positive, secure environment, can a child truly begin to learn. As a teacher, I take on the charge of being a source of strength to a child, until they can discover their own voice.
Learning is life long, it begins but never ends. As a teacher it is our job to provide the foundation that a child can take into life and build upon. Being at the ground level of such a long and magnificent journey is not only personally gratifying, but includes the child in our own personal journey, started years ago, by teachers who taught us. Often when good people become parents it is because they want to pass on the things taught to them by their parents. I believe I want to be a teacher because I want to pass on the things taught to me and perhaps someday I will inspire my students to do the same. In the same way having children ensures the survival of a human race, teaching ensures the survival of an intelligent one.
As a male, I believe I have a very special part to play in the education of young people. All too often, throughout primary school, children are taught by women. These amazing women provide a calm and caring enviroment that is often thought to be motherly instinct. I believe young people HAVE to see that males can also be calm and caring, that they are not virtues only held by women. In today's society, children often see males as the aggressors. Video games are increasingly violent and characters are predominantly males. Television is filled with stories of males being arrested, starting wars, playing violent sports and disrespecting women. I believe good fathers and male teachers are the only defense against children (especially males) mimicking the violent and aggressive behavior they see in the many of the males in our culture.
I want to be a teacher in order to make the world a better place, one child at a time. I believe that if you only make one more person better then you made worse, then you've made a positive contribution to the world. As teachers, we have the ability to tip the scales in our favor considerably more than the average person. Isn't that what it's all about in the end, leaving the world a better place? As a teacher I can positively impact people that, in turn, can influence thousands more. That is why I want to be a teacher, because with those odds, the math is on my side.

ROOMMATE NEEDED: $450 + BILLS, VERY CLEAN, STEALTH...ISH, GREAT NUNCHUCH SKILLS

2008-09-19T16:08:00.000-07:00

I have always been a movie fan; I have loved them since I was old enough to watch Willy Wonka one hundred and fifty times in one summer. Watching Amazing Grace and Chuck as a teenager had me somber for days and discovering Casablanca as a twenty-something restored my faith in the power of love. As I grow older I have found less and less time for my favorite pastime and sadly, popcorn has become a distant, buttery memory. It is not that I don't watch movies, I do, I just get around to them long after everyone else. Many of you know that I moonlight at a pawn shop, but few know that the DVD section is my teacher's pet and if you are looking for a movie, I can probably tell you if we have it and where it is amongst the throngs of them in our showcase.

One film medium that I have recently discovered cannot be found in any showcase and in my native Oklahoma, can probably only be found on the internet or through your local On Demand service. The movie short has been around for a while, but with the invention of the on-demand cable service can now reach millions of new adoring fans. Clocking in usually at a meager ten minutes or less, one can get all the satisfaction and meaning of a two hour epic, but spend a fraction of the time! I have discovered many such films on the Festival Channel of my local cable service and have simply fallen in love. My most recent romance is with a film by director Steven Tsuchinda and is a Sundance Selection from 2003 (holy crap, I AM behind), A NINJA PAYS HALF MY RENT.

This movie is simply hilarious, as you can see by clicking below on one of the links to YouTube. It is a story of a man, whom because of the recent "death by grapefruit" of his former roommate must find someone to live with. Out of desperation, he rents out to an oft-overlooked, but always respected member of the community, the ninja. Now we all know Ninjas are silent killers and are the perfect assassins, but few know that they also make ideal roommates. Quiet, unimposing, and gainfully employed, these guys will be there for you, whether you need someone killed or simply need the syrup passed. Although always on the alert, Ninjas are skilled artisans and reliable companions, but they do have one glaring flaw, they are often pursued by OTHER ninjas, especially ones with a need of a room to let. Saying more would ruin the ending, though at a meager 5 minutes, it is hard to say where this movie begins or ends, oh hell, just enjoy it!

Check it out and while you are at it, here are some other great shorts to cleanse your pallet: A STOLEN MOMENT, THE MANTIS PARABLE, and THE SAVIOR.

Corn-inspired prose

2008-09-19T16:06:00.001-07:00

Kettle Corn,
Kettle Corn,
How are you,
So good to eat,
Yet so few.

Hard to find,
Hard to stop,
Eating you,
Cousin of pop.

Salt and Sugar,
Confuses my tongue,
Heaven and Hell,
Are where you're from.

Go far away,
But come back,
Longing for you,
I'll never lack.

Damn it! Stop eating my tape! AHHH!! Cassette's Won't Listen!

2008-09-19T16:03:00.000-07:00

Cassettes Won't Listen is the what makes indie fans love what they do, they are impossible to find, amazing to listen to, and hard to explain to the plebs. Go ahead, look them up, yeah, they have a Myspace, so I guess they aren't that impossible, but if you want to find anything but the new debut album Small Time Machine, well sir/madam, good luck to you! Not that you will have to look much farther then this great album, although a measly seven songs, the good music is squeezed in like an overstuffed suitcase. From start to finish, Cassettes show off what they do best, pound those electronic ivories like Max Headroom himself. W.W.W.When they do get around to using a guitar in The Broadcast they do it with such emphasis that you are left wondering why they don't use it more, oh wait, that's why, the S.S.S.Synthesizer kicks ass. They are so good at what they do, that they have spent the last few years re-mixing other band's songs, proving they didn't invent the chicken sandwich, they just made it better. The album's highlights include the haunting Freeze and Explode and the appropriately titled last song, The Finish Line. With plenty of cool in between and lots of lost internet gems(your charge young indie lover), this band, like the eternal year-away Postal Service follow-up, will leave you wanting more, and that is a good thing.....I think.

Sounds like: The Figurines; DNTEL; Postal Service; Snap, Crackle, Pop (ok, I made that last one up)

Blood suckers from a sweet sojourn spent on a caribbean isle....or your favorite new band, VAMPIRE WEEKEND!

2008-09-19T16:00:00.000-07:00

Cast Sting as young Flannigan, working in a tired NYC Bar scene, Flannigan and mentor Andy Summers, escape to Jamaica where they meet and fall in love with Stewart Copeland and his fluglebinders. Skip all that rich vs. poor yuppie crap and enjoy as key rock ingredients get mixed to perfection and produce a beautiful cocktail of music. Oh and they decided to call themselves Vampire Weekend. So you've heard they have an Ivy League education and you're questioning their street cred, well get over yourself indie snob and embrace the sweet science that is this awesome self-titled debut. The hype machine has been spitting out articles on these guys in droves and they were even on "the buzz". Yes, normally this enough to send me back into my log cabin, make me grab my needle and cone and spin that latest Iron and Wine. However as soon as "Oxford Comma" hit my ears I knew something was different with these guys, "who gives a fuck about an Oxford Comma/I've seen those English dramas too, their cruel". Are you serious, are these guys actually getting literary on our asses? Well hell alright, I'm game for some learnin', so I move on to the opening riff of Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa and I promptly spend the next 20 minutes mixing everyone in the house drinks involving tropical fruit and little umbrellas, oh yes, we are miles away from ordinary. Educated lyrics, reggae inspired beats and the unmistakable indie rock sound provide just the right blend of cool to the first can't miss album of 2008. Despite being accompanied by the rather brash sound of my blender and the clop of my deck shoes, this album will continue to by my anthem of the upcoming summer, long into the fall and keep me warm on those long winter nights. Buy this album, support good music, enjoy me telling you what to do, and see you on the beach.